Perhaps you’ve read my article on the external food police, and it has led you here. Or perhaps a loved one has accused you of being the food police. So, what do you do if you realise you’re the food police for someone in your life? Read on!
Firstly, well done for noticing!
Awareness of our actions is the first step in changing them.
It can be difficult to notice and acknowledge this about yourself and I encourage you to serve yourself some compassion. This part of you is likely a product of diet culture, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the comments you make to others have been said to you in the past.
As for next steps, here are some ideas to get you started.
Explore where these comments come from
Food police commentary often revolves around:
- Eating less,
- Eating a prescribed amount of some sort,
- Eating or not eating specific things,
- And the notion that being smaller is better somehow.
Have a think about the things you’ve said to others – can you trace these comments back to the above ideas?
While it can be tricky, you may want to look at food and eating through a different lens. For example, you could learn more about approaching food and eating from a non-judgmental, weight-neutral angle. You could read the Breaking the Dieting Cycle trilogy, and my article on Intuitive Eating for some more information on this.
Remind yourself that food is food
Another way of saying this is food is neutral.
Food does not have any inherent moral value – that’s something we add ourselves.
Labelling foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, ‘clean’ or ’unclean’, ‘naughty’ or ’nice’ etc. is commonplace. However, it’s unhelpful. It sets up the idea that if the food is bad then the person eating the food is being ‘bad’. This way of judging ourselves and others is a slippery slope. We do not gain or lose value as a human based on our food choices.
While we might not believe it the first few times, repeatedly telling yourself that ‘food is food’ or ‘food is neutral’ can start to shift the way you think about food and morals. Remember, we get good at what we practice!
Pause before you comment
Food police comments can feel like second nature sometimes, especially if you hear them as much as you say them. Practice saying any food or eating-related comments in your head before verbalising them to others. Is there a way to rephrase your thoughts? In some instances, discussing other topics may work best.
Challenge your own opinions of yourself
Explore how you feel about yourself and your body. Remember the food police inside our heads. Could some of what you say out loud to others be linked to what the internal food police say to you? Are the comments you make to others a way of reinforcing your own beliefs about how to be healthy yourself, or to manage your weight?
This sounds difficult to do on my own…
Totally understandable. This stuff is hard! Fortunately, you don’t have to go at it alone. Support from a non-diet dietitian can help you explore the things mentioned in this article and more. It may be difficult, but freeing yourself and others from food judgment is worth it in my books.
Are you wanting to move away from diet culture? We are here to help! Our team can help you unlearn all the unhelpful rules of diet-culture so you can feel confident in your food choices long term!
